to clarify...

my last blog was about a girl i met in my math class, we'll call her yolanda. she sits in front of me and for the first couple of weeks we never really talked, just kind of smiled at each other. we moved into the saying "hey" stage as we would have to get into groups to do like team math stuff, stupid i know. as the weeks progressed we still didn't talk much. there is this other girl in the class who is really, really, really, really, really [i think you get the point] annoying. well call her marry jo. and marry jo is like so annoying that i just want to say "hey stop talking!" anyhow, one day marry jo was being expically annoying and yolanda commented to me about it. her and i kind of hit it off from there. every since that day we talk, it's more in depth now, but it tends to have something to do with marry jo (not always, but 7 out of 10 times.) i kind of going along with it all. and i've never blatantly mentioned my faith. not that i'm like super scared or anything (i'd be a lie if i said i wasn't scared at all) but for some reason i can't bring myself to say something about it. it's weird...

so to my point.. i wrote this because i feel as if i've failed the Lord. i pray for opportunities to show that i'm different, to share the gospel, to meet new people and to ultimately show God's love and who He really is. i obviously fail. majorly. and i know that God still loves me and all that, it's just i don't want to be the scared christian or the one who is ashamed. i want to be bold. and i want to take a stand for what i be live in. i know i'm not always going to succeed in doing so but i want to try. and maybe this is just a way for the Lord to teach me a lesson. (not maybe, it is!) so yeah, i hope that makes a little better sense..