Bitter sweet.

A little over a week ago I got to experience an scary, yet amazing thing. My childhood friend, Andrea Nale, now Andrea Taylor, got married. Marriage!? But wait!? She's only 19! The thought kind of freaks me out. And my mind began to wonder... Marriage. Yeah, that's a big commitment. A really big one. A life long one. One that I've never really been worried about. (Not that I've never thought or worried about it, because of course I have, I am a female! I just have always trusted that the Lord will send "Mr. Right" at the time he sees fit.) But all this got me thinking. Not that I want to rush into a marriage or anything, because that's a BIG no! But it did remind me how old I am. I know, I know. You're thinking "How could I forget how old I am?" or "You're not that old." You're right. I didn't literally forget my age, nor do I think I'm old by any means. But I am at the age where I could get married, or move away, or do something crazy like that. (Don't worry, I'm not doing either of those, so don't worry.) But if I wanted to, I could. And that's a scary fact. I mean the last five years have just flown by. It's exciting, but sad too.

Which leads me to death. I never think of death until, well, someone dies. And I hate the way the word sounds too. It's a cold, hard word. And it just seems to linger in the air. This week another girl, Brittany Little, who I went to school with (elementary school and freshman year of high school) passed away. I don't know how. I just know it happened. It's a scary thought. To think someone my exact age could die. I mean I'm not ninety-five, so people my age don't usually die. But Brittany's death made me think. A lot. About life. About death. About how I treated her when she was alive. About how I treat all people. Was she saved? And then I thought, Wow.. I don't want anyone to die with out knowing about Jesus. I thought about allot he people I know. And how on earth could I show them ALL Jesus? And that's just it, I can't. But what I can do is try and reach every person that I possible can. And not by kidnapping them and making them go to church OR by throwing a Bible at them. But by loving people. By being kind. (I think a lot of people in the world forgot how to be kind. I know I have.) By waving to my neighbors. By smiling at the random person in the grocery store. By talking to the weird, quit girl who sits next to me in class. By being genuine. By treating each person with love an respect, even if I don't get it back. And I know I won't do that all the time, but I can sure try my best!

This week was a tough one to swallow. It's been scary. But I've learned a lot.

Oh and...

RIP

Brittany Little

&

CONGRATULATIONS MR. & MRS. TAYLOR!

it's new everyday.

okay, so this is a day late.. I started it yesterday, but just never finished it.


Today is the first day of school, well, not for me, but for Pinellas County Schools. I always loved the first day of school. It's usually a hectic day, but a good one. And there is that new start feeling. You know, the one were you're anxious to see what schools going to be like;what classes will you have, who will be back from last year, who will be new, what teachers are gone, what teachers have come and of course you get to see your friends. You know, the ones you haven't seen all summer for one reason or another. There's the sense of the unknown that gives hope and light to the year to come. And it's exciting. Well, for me it is.



The first day is big too. You've got to make a good first impression. The first day is your shot to make a name for yourself. To let everyone know who you are. Last year only matters because it happened. I mean you could have totally made a fool out of yourself the year before, or failed a class, or two, or even if you were super good, on track and did well, you still have to keep that up in one way or another.



And that's kind of like today. I had a horrible day yesterday. And it just kept getting worse as the day progressed. But today, today is a new day. A fresh start. A chance to be better. So as I'm driving to work today, as I'm seeing all these kids standing at their bus stops, I think of the first day of school. And how each of those children are about to get that fresh new start. And then I say to myself, "ah, a new day" As this is happening and my mind starts to play songs that is related to what I'm thinking. I don't know if that makes sense, but I do it all the time. I'll be thinking of something and song lyrics will pop into my head. Today that song was "Mercy Reigns" by Shane & Shane. The song talks about how the Lords mercy falls and then it rises with the sun and it's new every morning. So, I get to work and immediately Google the lyrics. I start reading them and then I realize that there are a, well actually two, verses form the Bible. The first, Song of Solomon 2:14 and the second, Lementations 3:22-23. Both beautiful passages. But the one that stood out to me today was Lementatons 3:22-23. It reads "Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Wow... That's so true. The Lord's mercies are new, everyday. And even though we've had a bad day, week, month, or even life each new day brings that hope, that light, that chance to be different, to change, to be new. For me that's an amazing feeling. That despite all the things I've been through, my screw ups, mistakes, times I've failed, the scars I have from those, the old sins, the new sins and the sins to come, all the times I've let people down I have a chance to be new! And it happens every morning! Every time the sun comes up I get a new start! And what a refreshing feeling that is!

One.

So, this is my first post. Yes, I know, I've conformened. But I guess there are a lot worse things I could conform to. Plus, I think these are cool. I like reading about people and their lives and I like writing, I just don't think I'm good at it. So I thought hm.. Why not give it a try? You never know.