Rewind

It's been a while since I've written... Partly because I've been so busy and partly because sometimes I don't know what to write... Neither are very good excuses. Anyways, it has been a pretty eventful month so say the least. I'm going to try and give a run down of everything that happened...




House sitting/Baby sitting- Since my last post, December 1st, the number of baby sitting and house sitting opportunities that I've had as been unreal. It's crazy to think that in the month of December and even now, in to January, I've only slept at my house about twelve nights. And I've babysat a coypus amount. It's really crazy. But in the end, a true blessing. If it weren't for these opportunities I definitely wouldn't be taking classes this semester, going to the Winter Retreat, or driving my car. And I'm very thankful for the relationships that have fromed, and strengthened, because of those experiences.



Work/School- I finished up my semester and managed to only have to take one exam, my math exam. I was really stressed about that particular exam because; I'm horrible at math, I'm not a good test taker, and if I don't pass the exam I have to take the class for the third time. Thankfully, with a great deal of studying, prayer and the much needed help of my very cute tutor/boy friend I passed my exam with an 90! Which gave me an A in the class! And was the last A that I needed to have straight A's! Work has been crazy as well. I was to work most of the break, so that was good. I've started a new semester already too. I already feel over whelmed. I'm looking forwarded to being done with this semester because by then, I'll have most of my general education classes completed.



Ecuador- After praying and thinking about it a lot, I decided to apply through the IMB to be a summer missionary. I applied mid-December. It was a pretty long process and in depth, but finally last week, I found out that I had been accepted! I'm really excited and a little scared too. I think this opportunity will really stretch me. I've been to Ecuador twice before but those trip were completely different. For the most part I was surrounded, or at least near other "North Americana's" (People in South America consider themselves to be "Americans" too and can get offended if we only refer to ourselves as "Americana's.") And I stayed for a much shorter time. This will be a intense trip and one that will really challenge me. I'm really ecstatic to see what the Lord has to teach me in this endeavor!


ALIVE/Pipeline/Bible Study/Church- I don't even know where to begin with this, but I feel I should mention it because it's such they are such a staple in my life. The last few weeks I feel that JJ and PT have really been turning up the heat. PT's 3G series has really hit hard in some areas of my life as well as in the lives of people around me. It's been really cool to see, hear, and to put into play the setting of goals for this up coming year (I hope to post those up soon.)


Spiritual Warfare- I feel that there has been a lot of spiritual warfare swirling around me lately. And unfortunately they've been hitting me in areas where it really hurts. Thankfully though things like this are an opportunity learn valuable lesions and to grow closer to the Lord. I'm trying to keep that mentality despite the severity of some of these issues.


The next month- I'm really excited about what God is doing right now. There are a lot of really troubling things that are happening... But God is good, and His love endures! (I've been reading that line a lot.) And as mewithoutYou would put it... "The smoke isn't half as bad as God is good." I'm holding on to that.


And I think I'll stop there for now. Until next time...

<3

Dear GOD, thank you for being patient..

Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.

Matthew 23:26

This clock never seemed to alive.

It's that time again, sigh, which means:

• That paper I've been working on all semester, the one that reflects my entire grade, is finally due
• I have one speech left, the hardest one of them all, persuasive, that'll determine weather or not I get an A or B in the class
• My math exam is quickly nearing and I don't feel like I'm ready
• Not to mention all the other homework and class work that still has to be done
• My room still needs to be cleaned
• My laundry desperately needs to be done
• My car need to be fixed, it's making weird noises
• It seems I have a billion little things to do
• Christmas (yeah, I had to say it) is quickly nearing (AH!)
• Work has been especially crazy lately
• I have about 300+ letters sitting on my desk right now that needed to go out... yesterday
• A a few billion other things that are swirling around up there
• Sleep is mearly a suggestion at this point

Things to be thankful for:

• God is control of all!
• Challis is back from Texas and has less than a month till delivery!
• Florida-Florida State game is soon nearing
• Thirsty is happening soooon, and I'm super pumped
• Thanksgiving is soon! Mmm. Turkey!
• I'm looking forward to seeing and spending time with my loved ones as the holidays approach
• The weather has been beautiful
• My friends and family
• Just being alive and well

Alright, back to work. Sheesh, so much for a break.

live is to die as die is to live.

Lose whatever it is that is holding you back, period.

Broken CD player.

It's been almost a month since I last wrote. My intensions were to write more than this, but it's been really busy. So I'm going to try to do better from now on.


Saturday about 12 of us from ACM helped out at Raise the Roof. It was a crazy day, but over all a pretty good one. Despite the crazyness I actually learned a lot and got to meet a lot of really cool people too. One that stands out though is Brandon, a rapper from Texas. Brandon performed right before Kirk Franklin. The girls and I met Brandon while the boys were wating on Kirk Franklin. We talked to him, asked him how he got into rapping, and all that good stuff. Before he departed he gave us his CD. If you're into rap, it's quite good. You can check it out his myspace. (Syrememusic)

I've been listing to it a lot, partly because it's stuck in my CD player and I can't get it out and because it's good too. I really do like rap a lot. And I think it's really awesome that someone reaching that part of society. It's kind of inspiring. As I was listing to the lyrics one of them stood out. "I don't do it for the indusrty, I do it for the ministry." Wow, that's a pretty deep statement. I love it though. I mean, I'm not in "the industry" but it does make me question why do I do the things I do? Is it because it makes me feel good? Becuase I get attention from them? Becuase they need to be done? Becuase I enjoy doing them? Becuase that's what I'm supposed to do?Because I love Christ so much that it over flows into everything I do? And ironicly, that's some what JJ was talking about in church the past two Sunday's. A lot of times it's hard to do things with out gaining something personally. When in all reality that shouldn't be the motivation behind the act. It's even more difficult in our society when everyone is struggling to be better, smater and richer.

I think being selfish is where one place we go wrong. Being selfish means we're being selfcentered. Which means we're not being Christ centerd. We are so obsesed with ourselvs. It's quit sicking if you really think about it. Thankfully Christ wasn't like that!

It is but a wisper.

It's colder today than most,
The temperature has dropped drastically since the fall of night.

The sun fails to appear in this morning sky,
and I can feel the wind cutting through the my layers.

I am not at all surprised, for I have seen the reports,
However, I am concerned, that this coat I'm nestled in may not be enough.

Still I cling to hope of a sunny day,
and understand that this storm will pass.

My heart longs for that sunny day,
when we will be allowed to run for the first time.

to clarify...

my last blog was about a girl i met in my math class, we'll call her yolanda. she sits in front of me and for the first couple of weeks we never really talked, just kind of smiled at each other. we moved into the saying "hey" stage as we would have to get into groups to do like team math stuff, stupid i know. as the weeks progressed we still didn't talk much. there is this other girl in the class who is really, really, really, really, really [i think you get the point] annoying. well call her marry jo. and marry jo is like so annoying that i just want to say "hey stop talking!" anyhow, one day marry jo was being expically annoying and yolanda commented to me about it. her and i kind of hit it off from there. every since that day we talk, it's more in depth now, but it tends to have something to do with marry jo (not always, but 7 out of 10 times.) i kind of going along with it all. and i've never blatantly mentioned my faith. not that i'm like super scared or anything (i'd be a lie if i said i wasn't scared at all) but for some reason i can't bring myself to say something about it. it's weird...

so to my point.. i wrote this because i feel as if i've failed the Lord. i pray for opportunities to show that i'm different, to share the gospel, to meet new people and to ultimately show God's love and who He really is. i obviously fail. majorly. and i know that God still loves me and all that, it's just i don't want to be the scared christian or the one who is ashamed. i want to be bold. and i want to take a stand for what i be live in. i know i'm not always going to succeed in doing so but i want to try. and maybe this is just a way for the Lord to teach me a lesson. (not maybe, it is!) so yeah, i hope that makes a little better sense..