Thursday, August 21, 2008

Bitter sweet.

A little over a week ago I got to experience an scary, yet amazing thing. My childhood friend, Andrea Nale, now Andrea Taylor, got married. Marriage!? But wait!? She's only 19! The thought kind of freaks me out. And my mind began to wonder... Marriage. Yeah, that's a big commitment. A really big one. A life long one. One that I've never really been worried about. (Not that I've never thought or worried about it, because of course I have, I am a female! I just have always trusted that the Lord will send "Mr. Right" at the time he sees fit.) But all this got me thinking. Not that I want to rush into a marriage or anything, because that's a BIG no! But it did remind me how old I am. I know, I know. You're thinking "How could I forget how old I am?" or "You're not that old." You're right. I didn't literally forget my age, nor do I think I'm old by any means. But I am at the age where I could get married, or move away, or do something crazy like that. (Don't worry, I'm not doing either of those, so don't worry.) But if I wanted to, I could. And that's a scary fact. I mean the last five years have just flown by. It's exciting, but sad too.

Which leads me to death. I never think of death until, well, someone dies. And I hate the way the word sounds too. It's a cold, hard word. And it just seems to linger in the air. This week another girl, Brittany Little, who I went to school with (elementary school and freshman year of high school) passed away. I don't know how. I just know it happened. It's a scary thought. To think someone my exact age could die. I mean I'm not ninety-five, so people my age don't usually die. But Brittany's death made me think. A lot. About life. About death. About how I treated her when she was alive. About how I treat all people. Was she saved? And then I thought, Wow.. I don't want anyone to die with out knowing about Jesus. I thought about allot he people I know. And how on earth could I show them ALL Jesus? And that's just it, I can't. But what I can do is try and reach every person that I possible can. And not by kidnapping them and making them go to church OR by throwing a Bible at them. But by loving people. By being kind. (I think a lot of people in the world forgot how to be kind. I know I have.) By waving to my neighbors. By smiling at the random person in the grocery store. By talking to the weird, quit girl who sits next to me in class. By being genuine. By treating each person with love an respect, even if I don't get it back. And I know I won't do that all the time, but I can sure try my best!

This week was a tough one to swallow. It's been scary. But I've learned a lot.

Oh and...

RIP
Brittany Little
&
CONGRATULATIONS MR. & MRS. TAYLOR!

2 comments:

thewhisper said...

Finally, I found your blog!

Poems of Long Ago said...

this is intense. i have so few words for the many of which you have just said. too many emotions in one go. how can one heart be so burdened with so many things?! ... dont i know, right?! ughh.